I wish I was a more motivated person. If I was more motivated I think I might probably have achieved a lot more in my life so far. I possibly would have accomplished things that currently seem like pipe dreams. I might have developed the ability to play an instrument, speak another language, draw, paint, write better, run distances greater than 3 feet, and code.
These are all things I want to be able to do and I have started progress on each of them before coming to a grinding halt. My problem is that I get too easily distracted; also having a job gets in the way a bit too but if I am honest my lack of attention is my main issue.
There are so many things to distract me that I really should be able to a gain control over. Back when I was a young child there was the distraction of climbing trees, riding my bike, watching cartoons and playing Gauntlet on the Commodore 64. Noble pursuits but by clarinet practice suffered.
As a teen I was distracted by moping around being grumpy, talking about boys, booze, worrying about making friends, watching cartoons, and playing Tetris on my Gameboy. The emergence of The X Files and Friends in the early ’90s also added to the distraction options.
In my 20s I was distracted by switching jobs, talking to boys (mostly unsuccessfully), booze, watching cartoons, The X Files and Friends, and playing Mario Kart on the Nintendo 64. Added in at this point was the mobile phone which led to much texting an playing Snake.
As my 30s are dawing to an end I am now in a situation where I have got a steady career, I have a boy that I can talk to whenever I want (poor thing) and I don’t drink. This should free me up some time to pursue my goals. I have new distractions though, many provided by the internet. I can while away many hours on Facebook, Twitter, Fail Blog and Wikipedia. On top of that I have moved on from Snake and my phone enables me to play Words with Friends, Bubble Witch, Two Dots, Quizup, Crossy Road, and Pokemon Go (although I am bored of that at the moment). Add this to the fact that I still watch cartoons, The X Files and Friends and it is a wonder I have time to eat and sleep.
I remember reading that some of the most successful people in the world have their days split into 30 or 15 minute chunks, and that each chunk is planned and filled with something productive or worthwhile. (Elon Musk, someone of whom I am a massive fan,breaks his day into five minute chunks but that is just showing off.) These productive activities include exercise and family time, but are planned in and stuck to, and I suspect do not include items such as ‘sit on the sofa and eat a pork pie’ or ‘play Bubble Witch until all lives are used up’.
Maybe I should try this. Chunk up my day and stick to to, regardless of hurdles but as I sit here writing this, thinking about what I can do once I have finished the following list forms:
- Try and go for a jog (but it is raining, hard)
- Have ago at writing a short story (but I cannot think of a theme)
- Use an web-based resource to start learning a coding language (but I am not sure which one to choose)
- Draw a picture (but I cannot remember where I put my pencils)
- Pick up one of my language guides and have a go (but I get embarrassed talking out loud in the house when hubby and child are about)
[Brushing up on the clarinet is off the list as I sold it six months ago after 15 years of ownership and the last four being untouched under the bed.]
What I will probably end up doing is firing up an episode of The X Files from my box set, picking up my phone, that is by my side, and flicking through Facebook before giving Paper IO another quick try and then realising that another hour has passed and I still have not moved closer to any of my goals.
But is that true. Have I really not moved any closer to my goals?
I have written this! Hopefully my writing style is improving in the eight weeks since I started my blog. That is a step in the right direction, surely?
And earlier this year I completed my first OU course towards the degree I have always wanted, and the only reason I have not started a new course yet is financial. I know I will pick that up again as soon as I can.
And I have worked hard this week at my job, so maybe an hour to relax and recharge my batteries is ‘productive’ use of my time.
I think I need to strike a balance and not compare myself with super successful people. I wish I was a highly motivated individual who could be productive all the time. But, actually am I OK as I am? A hard working, friendly, caring but highly flawed individual who can be too hard on herself. Someone who needs to work better at striking a balance in all activities in her life, but also someone who will not be able to suddenly change her whole approach to things overnight. Small steps are the way forward, and celebrating small successes is also a must to improve motivation.
So after I post this I will celebrate that I have written it by having a cup of coffee and a biscuit. I will chill for an hour doing whatever I want without feeling guilty, and I will then think about setting up my own structured daily routine to help me work towards some of my goals but within that routine I will factor in time for doing ‘whatever’ because after nearly 40 years of spending much of my time doing ‘whatever’ cutting it all out and going cold turkey might be a step too far.
And if I succeed in this new plan to structure my days and be more on plan with my goals I will share my progress; but if I don’t, because I am petulant and this is my blog so I can write what I want, you can expect I will ever mention this topic again.
I hope they don’t mind me using the image but if they do I will take it down.